Research from The Girls’ Index™, Ruling Our eXperiences (ROX)’s large-scale national survey of girls in grades 5-12, shows that 88% of girls feel pressure to be pretty.
The Girls’ Index also shows that girls who like their bodies “the way they are” are nearly 10 times more likely to be confident.
In short? A healthy body image matters when we think about raising confident girls. As we gear up for back-to-school shopping, this is especially important to keep in mind as our girls enter fitting rooms or try on clothes at home.
It’s no surprise that trying on clothes can bring up negative thoughts about our bodies, we’ve all been there, right? So what can you do to support the girl(s) in your life?
The Girl Experts at ROX have three key strategies to help your girl build a healthy body image this back-to-school shopping season. (Bonus: these tips will help you and your girl!)
1. Be aware of how you speak about your own body, or other people’s bodies in front of your girl.
The truth is: girls are listening and learning from the example we set. If we speak negatively about our own bodies, or other people’s bodies, she’ll learn to think and speak negatively about her own body, too. She’ll learn that her external appearance is being judged by other people, and that she, too, should be judgemental of her own body’s appearance.
Spend the next week with this at the top of your mind. Notice if you’re about to say something negative about your body, or someone else’s’. Then? Show yourself some compassion and gently stop yourself from saying the comment out loud. That’s it! We’re simply catching the negative comment before we say it.
Being able to notice our own thoughts and words is the first step to being more intentional with how we speak about our bodies, especially in front of our girls.
The good news? The more you practice this, the easier it becomes! Let’s make negative body comments a thing of the past. Trust us, everyone benefits from this!
2. Teach your girl to identify and value her internal characteristics more than her external appearance.
In a world that stresses the importance of our appearance, let’s commit to changing the game for our girls. How? Teach your girl to identify and value her internal characteristics more than her outward appearance.
We want girls to learn to value who they are as a person rather than valuing what she looks like.
Start to point out when you notice your girl doing something of value.
For instance, you could say things like:
- That was a very smart observation! I love what a critical thinker you are.
- You should be proud of your hard work studying for that math test. It was impressive.
- I love how you make us all laugh. You have such a great sense of humor!
- You showed such great leadership on the soccer field today. You were able to lift the team’s spirits and keep everyone feeling motivated!
When we point out these internal traits that girls demonstrate (intelligence, work ethic, humor, leadership, etc.), we get to show her that those are valuable traits, that who she is and how she acts is valuable.
BONUS ROX TIP! Have her write down an affirmation and put it somewhere she sees often, like on the bathroom mirror, or perhaps on her nightstand. It could say something like: I am smart, I am brave, or I am kind.
3. Teach your girl to value her body for what it does for her, rather than what it looks like.
This is a key body image strategy. Teach your girl to value her body for all that it does for her, rather than placing importance on what it looks like.
How do you start this? Role model it! When you’re doing something with your girl, you could say something like:
- I’m so grateful I’m able to walk around the mall with you, having two capable legs is a privilege.
- Isn’t it cool that our stomachs digest our food and turn it into nutrients and energy?
- I’m grateful to have strong arms to carry these shopping bags!
- I’m grateful for deep breaths that help calm me down.
The key to building a healthier body image, both for you and your girl, is to know that it’s about building resilience.
We live in a world where negative body image triggers are everywhere, so having a negative body image thought is normal. Once we start to build these positive body image practices, however, we are able to build strength and resilience for when the negative thoughts happen.
The goal is that we’re able to notice the negative thought, reframe it, and move on quicker instead of going down a negative thought spiral. The goal isn’t to never have another negative body image thought! While that would be wonderful, it’s likely not realistic.
Did You Know? Building a Healthy Body Image Is One Topic Covered in the Evidence-Based ROX Program for Girls!
We know that girls thrive when they have healthy environments both at home and at school.
That’s why our ROX Program for Girls Facilitators create healthy environments at school that include lessons on building a healthy body image for the girls in their ROX Group.
When these positive lessons are taught at home and at school, our girls will have an easier time building these important skills.
ROX Frequently Asked Questions
What is ROX?
Ruling Our eXperiences (ROX) is the nonprofit authority on girls. We conduct large-scale national research with girls, deliver evidence-based programs in schools nationwide and equip adults to better support and empower girls. ROX was founded in Columbus, Ohio in 2011 and now has a presence in all 50 states.
What is The ROX Program for Girls?
The ROX Program for Girls is our flagship, evidence-based program for 5th – 12th grade girls, delivered in schools by trained and licensed female professionals. The ROX Program gives girls the skills they need to succeed in relationships, academics, careers and life and has been validated with nearly 60,000 girls.
The ROX Program covers topics including: communication, relationships, body image, social media, stress and pressure, self-defense, college and career, leadership.
How are ROX Programs Supported?
No girl pays to participate in The ROX Program for Girls. Want to give and support a ROX Program? $100 sends one girl through The ROX Program. $1,000 sponsors an entire cohort of 10 girls!
How can someone become a ROX Facilitator?
If you are a licensed professional female school counselor, social worker, psychologist or educator employed at a school, you are eligible to become a certified ROX Facilitator. Candidates must submit an application to complete the 3-day professional development training that prepares and certifies Facilitators to run The ROX Program for Girls at their school. There are virtual and in-person training options available. Learn more and apply online. Scholarships are available to get trained and start a ROX Program at your school.
